Journal Entry #2
Koumyou is killing me. He just doesn't get it! We had this big fucking argument and I'm not even sure what the hell it was about, except it somehow had something to do with that stupid taijiya- Dougan.
What Koumyou sees in that flaming ball of fluff I have no idea.
But he's a tough little bugger under all the plumage. I have to hand him that, or maybe not.
In any case, I didn't kill him and I didn't really do him any lasting harm. With all that the whole thing amounts to almost nothing so I don't know what all the bullshit is about. Its just I think Koumyou takes things personally like that- like its his fault I tortured the little bugger a bit. Just a bit!
Still, he made me make that promise, that I wouldn't do something like that again and I did it because- I want Koumyou to love me. Well, I may be many things that aren't pretty but I if I didn't keep promises I wouldn't be here.
I mean that literally- someone would have killed me and sent my sorry soul to the recycling bin by now.
But I did it to make him happy. We still ended up having a fight over it- and after I thought of that damn festival in Okinawa and thought we had it hashed down too.
I'm just afraid if I make too many promises to Koumyou, they will come into conflict with Homura. I'm starting to feel like I serve two masters and that is not a good place to be, not one bit.
It was stupid of me to let him find that jewelry- I get careless like that sometimes. Mortals are so touchy over small details and I forget.
And as I chew it over, little bits and pieces of the argument come into my mind and fester... like how he referred to Homura as a god that might kill him on a whim. He listed it as a reason not to come to Konran. My first reaction was, naw- Homura couldn't do that to me! He likes Koumyou.
But then again, when I really think about it, maybe he would. The thought chills me and makes me look at Homura-chan differently. It scares me more than the thought of him killing me which he could do if he chose.
And then the idea that coming to Konran is like being put in a cage...
My house is almost done. The conferred humans don't know how to phase, so if I leave them there they are pretty stuck. Ive kept the set I brought as staff for the place, give or take a few. That woman is a pretty good house manager. I haven't had much chance to go though. When I have had a few minutes I've gone down to enjoy it. They even have the grass cut and I sent supplies so there is food and all. I even have the generator running so there is juice.
I'm setting up wards and barriers. Hopefully when they are done, the place won't be too destroyed when the end comes. Maybe I can protect Koumyou there while we perform the ritual. He'll probably hate me for it, but he'll maybe be here when our mission is finished.
And then there is Shien. When I was talking with him, I realized he is most likely the only one who will be with me after all is said and done. Why do I still fear being alone?
What Koumyou sees in that flaming ball of fluff I have no idea.
But he's a tough little bugger under all the plumage. I have to hand him that, or maybe not.
In any case, I didn't kill him and I didn't really do him any lasting harm. With all that the whole thing amounts to almost nothing so I don't know what all the bullshit is about. Its just I think Koumyou takes things personally like that- like its his fault I tortured the little bugger a bit. Just a bit!
Still, he made me make that promise, that I wouldn't do something like that again and I did it because- I want Koumyou to love me. Well, I may be many things that aren't pretty but I if I didn't keep promises I wouldn't be here.
I mean that literally- someone would have killed me and sent my sorry soul to the recycling bin by now.
But I did it to make him happy. We still ended up having a fight over it- and after I thought of that damn festival in Okinawa and thought we had it hashed down too.
I'm just afraid if I make too many promises to Koumyou, they will come into conflict with Homura. I'm starting to feel like I serve two masters and that is not a good place to be, not one bit.
It was stupid of me to let him find that jewelry- I get careless like that sometimes. Mortals are so touchy over small details and I forget.
And as I chew it over, little bits and pieces of the argument come into my mind and fester... like how he referred to Homura as a god that might kill him on a whim. He listed it as a reason not to come to Konran. My first reaction was, naw- Homura couldn't do that to me! He likes Koumyou.
But then again, when I really think about it, maybe he would. The thought chills me and makes me look at Homura-chan differently. It scares me more than the thought of him killing me which he could do if he chose.
And then the idea that coming to Konran is like being put in a cage...
My house is almost done. The conferred humans don't know how to phase, so if I leave them there they are pretty stuck. Ive kept the set I brought as staff for the place, give or take a few. That woman is a pretty good house manager. I haven't had much chance to go though. When I have had a few minutes I've gone down to enjoy it. They even have the grass cut and I sent supplies so there is food and all. I even have the generator running so there is juice.
I'm setting up wards and barriers. Hopefully when they are done, the place won't be too destroyed when the end comes. Maybe I can protect Koumyou there while we perform the ritual. He'll probably hate me for it, but he'll maybe be here when our mission is finished.
And then there is Shien. When I was talking with him, I realized he is most likely the only one who will be with me after all is said and done. Why do I still fear being alone?
